The river:

Do you have peace?

Recently, I travelled to a place that felt worlds apart from the frenetic energy of London. It carried a peace, not specific to the day or the time of year (as we often tend to mark our lives by); but a peace that seemed a way of life for its people. The bare minimum. It raised difficult questions within me. I suddenly realised that my life is chaos and has been for as long as I can remember. As much as I would yearn and intentionally craft moments of stillness, I had come to believe that was all they would ever be. Moments. Not a lifestyle. And certainly not the bare minimum. Work crazy hours, pile on the commitments, juggle things and people. Life had become a race without me even realising, and I was burning out fast. I needed peace.

But tranquility is a choice. And if we do not live in a world that is naturally tranquil, it must mean that the choice requires action.

Are you a person that intentionally pursues or maintains (your) peace? Or is that a privilege? Do you read this question and scoff, wondering what is peace, give me action! I wouldn’t judge you for it. That was me too.

But i’m tired now.

Peace of mind is like a river. It flows and bends, passing through the valley of a chapter and up into the summit of another one. After glorifying a life of constantly striving, achieving and pushing myself to my limits to justify who I am, what I do and do not deserve…my tides have changed. Stress has almost killed me before, and it caused me to reflect deeply on what sort of life I feel is mine. I decided to try to incorporate more peace. Adjust schedules, fewer projects in one go, more “go with the flow.” And then I almost died again. Only this time, it was an internal loss of clarity and purpose.

I have come to realise that peace is not the band aid for wounds and broken minds. Walking away from a person or a life or a way of being is only as valuable as what you are walking to. So I recognise now that God is the band aid. And the consequence of more of God, is a peace that transcends circumstance.

Yes, peace of mind is like a river.

And in this life stage, more than anything else: I want the river.

How about you?